I am not into these things but it makes me think if it does exist.

My grandmother who we live with died last March 22, 2016 because of old age. Before that day I dreamt of her coming back home walking, having a big smile but she was young in my dream. She can’t walk anymore, had a cardiac arrest and was intubated for 3 days. It made me think what does my dream meant. Would it be that she will recover (which I as a nurse doesn’t think that would happen because of her condition unless there’s a miracle which I somehow believe in that) or does it mean that she’s lived her life, served her purpose and wants everyone to not suffer anymore as well as she was suffering.

I am not the best granddaughter a “lola” could have but it doesn’t mean that I love her less. It’s just that I could have helped her ease her pain when she still can talk, I could have been by her side when she still can smile, I could have told her about my problems about work and share a little of my life. But lola is not here anymore. 🙁

One scenario that happened at 2 in the morning made me think life after death does exist was when I was watching a movie while watching over my grandmother, they say there should be someone at the place of the wake to watch her over I don’t really know what the reason is but I know that she doesn’t want to be left alone when she was still alive, and then a moth suddenly appeared and went near my grandma’s casket after a while the movie stopped without me even touching my phone and then the volume lowered down by itself. I played it again and that thing happened again. So I exited from netflix and whispered “Hi lola”. From my home screen, I installed a software update. After the installation my phone turned on again and the screen said “Hello”. And by that I believed life after death is real.

I just wanted to post about this because I want to remember this as long as I can. I want to remember the things that makes me remember about her even though by this time it will just be pictures, posts and plain memories.

One thing I learned, be there as much as you can to those people who cares about you and loves you unconditionally because when they can’t be there anymore it’s all about the “could have’s”.

xo,

Ela